How to float a tractor!

Floating Tractor

How do you float a tractor?

 Use lots of water!

Staying above the water line!

Riverwalker

Riverwalker's Pics - Attack Rooster

Attack Rooster

Need a little security for your backyard? 
Get an attack rooster! 
They work for chicken feed.

Got mean rooster for extra security?

Staying above the water line!

Riverwalker

Survival Humor - You May Have Heart Problems If...

Sometimes a heart attack can be avoided by paying attention to the different warning signs. There are a few warning signs you may not be aware of that could be a sign that you are at risk of having a heart attack.

You may have heart problems if...

1. The local police stop you and this is your third offense for “Failure to Exercise” and they tell you are under “cardiac arrest”.

2. Your vehicle breaks down and you call Enterprise to pick you up and they show up in an ambulance.

3. You get a checkup and they find you need more bypasses than the average freeway.

4. The local EMS keeps an ambulance parked in your driveway...just in case.

5. Your cardiologist keeps a cardio-thoracic surgeon on 24 hour standby for you.

6. You buy food items containing cholesterol at the grocery store and it sets off an alarm when you check out.

7. You’ve added an AED to your first aid kit.

8. Your pharmacist sends you discount coupons for blood pressure medication.

9. You keep hearing the words “walking” and “heart attack” in your conversations with other people.

10. You stopped using the phrase “serious as a heart attack” because you don’t want to push your luck.

Remember, while laughter is the best medicine, heart problems are no joke.

While a certain amount of humor can help us get through some bad times, there is also a need to be serious when it comes to taking care of your health. So here’s a small amount of advice from someone who’s “been there and done that”.

Make sure to exercise regularly, eat a healthy diet and get regular checkups.

Staying above the water line!

Riverwalker

Riverwalker's Pics - Texas Squirrel Gun

Texas Squirrel Gun

Squirrels get pretty big in Texas. This is mainly due to the fact they like to eat all the pecans off your trees. They're pretty easy to stop if you've got a big enough gun.

Got squirrels?

Staying above the water!

Riverwalker

Survival Essentials - A Sense of Humor

Sometimes if you find yourself in a bad situation, your emotions can work to hinder your efforts at survival. This is where having a good sense of humor will benefit you. It’s one of those intangible things that you can keep in your survival kit. It doesn’t weigh anything and won’t take up any space but will help to keep your spirits up when things aren’t going your way.

A sense of humor will help prevent you from getting depressed and losing hope. It can help you maintain a positive attitude about your survival. It's one of the easiest ways to handle the mental stress of survival. Sometimes you have to lighten things up a little and one of the best ways to do that is with a good sense of humor.

So the next time you find yourself lost in the wilderness, just tell yourself “I’m not really lost. They just haven’t found me yet and everything will be OK because I had a big breakfast three days ago.”

Got a sense of humor for survival?

Staying above the water line!

Riverwalker

Red Hot and Blue

In an urban environment, finding a source of food is always a challenge. On a recent road trip to the Dallas area, this was one of my main survival priorities. Fortunately, a decent food source was quickly found and the problem eliminated.

In Texas, one of the main food items required for survival by all Texans is good bar-b-que. Texans just won’t last long without it, myself included. Using my urban survival skills (and a local phone book), a good source of bar-b-que was quickly found at Red Hot and Blue. In addition to great bar-b-que, they also have dancing pigs and great blues music!

As a result, a hunger crisis was avoided and my attention could then be focused on other areas of my survival. Good survival skills are necessary when dealing with an urban environment.

May the pork be with you!

Staying above the water line!

Riverwalker

Precise Trajectory Calculations

It is possible to survive many life-threatening situations if you do the math! It is important to remember that you may only get one chance to get it right.

Otherwise, you may not survive.

Got math skills?

Staying above the water slide line!

Riverwalker

You might be a survivalist if…

You might be a survivalist if…

1.) You built a log cabin with your pocket knife.

2.) You carry more than one survival kit…just in case.

3.) You can reload your ammo with a multi-tool.

4.) You have a flashlight on your keychain and your shotgun.

5.) You know a dozen ways to start a fire and still carry a Bic lighter.

6.) You don’t consider calling 911 a survival option.

7.) You never consider yourself lost, even if you don’t know where you are…yet.

8.) You filter and purify the water from a public fountain before drinking it.

9.) You have a wardrobe with only one color…camouflage.

10.) You like to practice building a shelter during thunderstorms.

11.) You prefer reading material that has survival in the main title.

12.) You have more home security measures than most prisons.

13.) You prefer wild game suppers when dining out.

14.) You have a dozen can openers but like to open your cans without one.

15.) You have a first aid kit with only two band-aids and a package of aspirin.

16.) You can’t wait for the sun to go down so you can test your new flashlight.

17.) You have considered using the neighbors’ pets as pistol targets and an emergency food source.

18.) You have an observation post in the backyard disguised as a tree house for your kids.

19.) You have an emergency cash fund bigger than your bank account.

20.) You serve MRE’s to your relatives when they visit.

21.) You carry a compass when you go to the shopping mall with the wife…so she doesn’t get lost.

22.) You have almost as many knives in your collection as your wife has in her kitchen.

23.) You have more ammunition in your gun safe than most stores have on their shelves.

24.) You have more plants in your yard with big, ugly thorns than flowers.

25.) You constantly check the water quality of the pools in your neighborhood for drinking purposes.

And lastly, you read Riverwalker’s blog, Stealth Survival.

Staying above the water line!

Riverwalker

You might be a prepper if...

River Picture

You might be a prepper if…

1.) Every family member gets to push their own cart at the local grocery store.

2.) You view your neighbors’ pool as an emergency source of water.

3.) You have more ammo at home than Walmart has on their shelves.

4.) All your recipes have rice and beans as the main ingredients.

5.) Your favorite radio station is the emergency broadcast channel.

6.) You have 9-1-1 on speed dial.

7.) You have enough heirloom seeds to plant a ten acre garden for ten years.

8.) You have more gasoline in 5 gallon cans than you do in your vehicles.

9.) You have a map marked with all 43 ways to get to your bug-out location.

10.) You have more knives than are on display at Academy Sports and Outdoors.

11.) Your home still has lights when the power is out.

12.) You don’t have trees in your yard because they are now firewood for your stove.

13.) You know more than a hundred ways to use a bandana.

14.) If something breaks, you start looking for your roll of duct tape.

15.) You spend your spare time braiding paracord into lanyards.

16.) Both your dogs have bug-out bags.

17.) Your first aid supplies weigh more than you do.

18.) Your key chain has more gadgets on it than the wife has in the kitchen drawer.

19.) You know which weeds are edible and what they look like and how they taste.

20.) You can start a fire 19 different ways that don’t include using wooden sticks.

21.) You have more cash stashed at home than you have in the bank.

22.) You are in charge of emergency drills at work.

23.) You listen to the prepper podcast because you like hearing your own voice.

24.) Your favorite reading materials are your old copies of “American Survival Guide”.

25.) You cuss Riverwalker because he put another river picture on Stealth Survival.


Are you a prepper?


Staying above the water line!


Riverwalker

Predators and Swamp Monsters

Surviving in Texas just got a little harder. It’s bad enough that we experience just about every kind of natural disaster possible but now we have to worry about alien predators. I don’t really mind having to put up with the Bigfoots and Chupacabras in my area but I’m not really equipped to handle those nasty alien Predators.

Well, I guess I’m going to have to avoid the local swamps for a while, at least till I get a really big gun. Good thing that those Predators don’t usually show up except in the hottest part of the year. Look out in July of 2010 though! Personally, I think they’re probably going to learn to not mess with Texas!

Read some more about these ugly Predators here:

Predators and Swamp Monsters

Where is Arnold when you need him?

Maybe I need to give him a call and see if he is willing to help out this summer.

Staying above the water line!

Riverwalker

Riverwalker's Pics - Big Texas Gator and Rattlesnakes

Have you ever seen a BIG Texas gator? Here's a good one for you from a small town in Texas with a few rattlesnakes thrown in for good measure!

A Texas Power and Light crew, putting in lines for an addition , found the following in a culvert they were using...

The gator was 18' 2" in length.

Another use for duct tape!

The rattlesnake roundup totaled a final count of 87.

Got stick?

Special thanks go out to Texas Power & Light for sharing these pictures.

Staying above the water line!

Riverwalker

Riverwalker's Pics - Stealth Survival

Thought a few people might be interested in why this picture was chosen for my website.

Hippos kill more people than any other wild animal in Africa.

They are aggressively territorial and very protective of their own kind.

Hippos are more dangerous than big sharks or giant crocodiles.

Hippos have been known to bite crocs in half.

Hippos are “THE NUMBER TWO” most bad a** animal on the planet.

Hippos actually kill more people than any other vertebrate combined, except people, who are “THE NUMBER ONE” most bad a** animal on the planet.

Hippos live on land or in the water.

Hippos have big mouths.

Hippos make loud grunting noises.

Hippos are also very cute.

This sound like your average survivalist?

Staying above the water line!

Riverwalker

Another One Bites the Dirt

Mrs. RW is still working to diminish the gopher population in Texas. She has declared war on all gophers. The gophers have to go and she plans to make sure they do! She’s still busy Trapping Pesky Critters.

" Texas maximus" Trap

She may eventually need a bigger trap if she runs across a Texas maximus!

Be careful! If you see an extremely large pile of fresh dirt in your yard or garden, you might experience an encounter with the legendary Texas maximus.... in which case you will need your Mossberg maximus.

She still isn’t convinced about eating gopher stew yet!

Staying above the water line!

Riverwalker

Survival Skills - Trapping Pesky Critters

One of the biggest threats to gardens everywhere is the common gopher. The threat of gophers eating your plants is a real and everyday hazard to gardeners everywhere. Learning to trap these little critters takes some patience, skill and a good trap.

Mrs. RW prefers to use the Victor “EasySet” Model #0610 gopher traps. She is excellent at trapping gophers and is a very dangerous threat to all gophers who invade her territory. She has an extreme dislike for these pesky little critters with their little, beady eyes, large teeth, and sharp claws. Make sure your trap is well anchored. A good metal stake with a chain attached should usually be sufficient.

A word of caution is in order. Some Texas gophers (i.e., Texas maximus) can get very large. There are rumors that some have even dragged large concrete blocks that were used to anchor gopher traps completely underground. It may even be necessary to use your Mossberg maximus if you encounter one.

Trapping is a very useful survival skill.

If you’re successful in your gopher trapping efforts, you can even enjoy some gopher stew.

Gophers beware!

Staying above the water line!

Riverwalker

The Top Ten Ways to Recognize Sheeple

Do you have friends or relatives that you are concerned about because you fear they are or may be on their way to becoming “sheeple”? Being able to recognize sheeple will aid you in your preparedness efforts.

How to Recognize Sheeple


1.) They have 1-800-CALL-FEMA on speed dial in case of an emergency.

2.) You see them peeling NRA stickers off truck bumpers.

3.) They are wearing T-shirts that say “More Government Now!”

4.) Their idea of emergency food for their children is a “Happy Meal”.

5.) Their concept of first aid is a trip to the ER at the hospital when they need a band-aid.

6.) They think “bug out” is a form of home pest control.

7.) They think “rocket stoves” are made by NASA.

8.) They think AR-15 is an IRS tax form that will give them a bigger refund.

9.) They think emergency shelter is a confirmed reservation at Holiday Inn.

10.) They think a Kabar is a place that serves alcoholic beverages.


Staying above the water line!

Riverwalker

Shotguns and Gardening

Shotgun Gardening

Murphy’s Laws of Gravity

Having a bad day? Did Murphy decide to visit you more than once this week? Is Murphy putting in a little overtime at your house? In order to help you survive, here is a list of Murphy’s Laws of Gravity.

1.) A falling object will always land where it can do the most damage.

2.) A valuable item when dropped will always fall into an inaccessible place.

3.) Anything dropped in the bathroom will always fall into the toilet.

4.) A paint drip will always find the hole in the drop cloth and land on the floor.

5.) A dropped power tool will always land on concrete instead of the soft ground.

6.) Any item dropped while driving in your car will always be just out of reach.

7.) A shatter-proof object will always fall on the only surface hard enough to break it.

8.) Dropping a dish being taken from the cabinet, will chip the sink but not the dish.

9.) Any item that’s not water-proof will always fall in water when dropped.

10.) Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed and will go in all directions.

Staying above the water line!

Riverwalker

Gun Humor - Mosin-Nagant

Ran across a pretty funny comparison of battle rifles and thought somebody could use a little humor in their day!

Here's the link:

Mosin-Nagant Humor

Enjoy!

Staying above the water line!

Riverwalker

Riverwalker’s Top Ten Uses for Thanksgiving Leftovers

1.) Combine the cranberry sauce and stuffing to make a great adhesive. Save money by not having to buy super glue because it sticks to everything.

2.) Donate left-overs for use as landfill for the New Orleans levee system. You may be eligible for a tax deduction.

3.) Plant the bones from the turkey. This way you will have fresh grown turkey for Thanksgiving next year and the next and the next…...

4.) Use the carcass for a turkey shoot. It should be dead by now, hopefully. Besides more practice with your shotgun is a good thing.

5.) Take the big pieces and slap it upside someone's head. Then tell them it’s not nap time yet!

6.) Sponsor a “Feed the Homeless Day”. The U.S. Department of Agriculture estimates that 4.4 million American households don't have enough to eat. Share your love for turkey.

7.) Feed the left-overs to squirrels in your yard. This will turn them into slow moving targets.

8.) Use the left-over dressing to build that bomb shelter you’ve always wanted.

9.) Create your own bailout by donating left-overs to the local “food bank”.

10.) Serve “creamed turkey on a shingle" to former prison inmates released because of jail overcrowding.


Our family has used leftover turkey as insoles for several generations ...


Staying above the water line!

Riverwalker