Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Riverwalker’s Top Ten Uses for Thanksgiving Leftovers

1.) Combine the cranberry sauce and stuffing to make a great adhesive. Save money by not having to buy super glue because it sticks to everything.

2.) Donate left-overs for use as landfill for the New Orleans levee system. You may be eligible for a tax deduction.

3.) Plant the bones from the turkey. This way you will have fresh grown turkey for Thanksgiving next year and the next and the next…...

4.) Use the carcass for a turkey shoot. It should be dead by now, hopefully. Besides more practice with your shotgun is a good thing.

5.) Take the big pieces and slap it upside someone's head. Then tell them it’s not nap time yet!

6.) Sponsor a “Feed the Homeless Day”. The U.S. Department of Agriculture estimates that 4.4 million American households don't have enough to eat. Share your love for turkey.

7.) Feed the left-overs to squirrels in your yard. This will turn them into slow moving targets.

8.) Use the left-over dressing to build that bomb shelter you’ve always wanted.

9.) Create your own bailout by donating left-overs to the local “food bank”.

10.) Serve “creamed turkey on a shingle" to former prison inmates released because of jail overcrowding.


Our family has used leftover turkey as insoles for several generations ...


Staying above the water line!

Riverwalker

12 comments:

gott_cha said...

:)

Bullseye said...

Going to the parents house for the holiday and will be sure to pass this list on to them. haha!! I love it.

Stephanie in AR said...

Use the early fruit cake as another brick in the wall.

SurvivalTopics.com said...

Fashion turkey skin wallets as gifts for the christmas holiday.

kookster said...

I have a spot outback that gets full sun that isn't currently being used by my garden. I think I'm going to plant some turkey bones there this spring for some good fresh home grown turkey!

riverwalker said...

Thanks everybody!

I hope a little holiday humor might relieve some of the stress and tension due to economy.

RW

Mayberry said...

Wise guy, eh? Nyuck nyuck nyuck..... My leftovers will help reinforce my fat reserves for shtf.......

Travis Stark said...

This is an awesome top ten list.
You can make your own on my buddy's site http://www.toptentopten.com/

Here is an awesome list like it: http://www.toptentopten.com/topten/thanksgiving+dinner+foods

riverwalker said...

To: mayberry

What? You ain't gonna feed your squirrel buddies!Ha!Ha!

RW

riverwalker said...

To: travis

Glad you liked it! Thanks for the link.

RW

Weirdo said...

You Crack me UP
Happy dead poultry day!
(ps: I'm kinda back online)

Left over Dressing?? Blaspheme in my house...

riverwalker said...

To: 7p

Glad you enjoyed it. Good to hear you're stalking the internet again...properly punctuating possibly perfect people pleasing posts, perhaps? My bad! That's 8!

RW

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